My darling friend Leila passed on this really awesome spam. I love the prose:
from: BRATBY Michelle
to: Leila
sent: Wed, January 13, 2010 12:07:03 PM
subject: adult adswomen seeking sex
[link removed]
They installed themselves in the island, and constructed a smaller boat
never again see the extraordinary animal. I was mistaken.
on the face of the globe which has escaped my researches.”
Wasn’t that beautiful?
FYI, this is what the link leads to:
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Posted by spamcarnival
Looks like someone really mastered Microsoft Paint! Who is this artistic genius?
from: Jeanette
to: spamcarnival
date: Wed, Jun 10, 2009 at 3:43 AM
subject: Hi
mandy
from my friend
that is it
***
from: Stefan
to: spamcarnival
date: Sun, Jun 14, 2009 at 1:53 AM
subject: Hi
grouch feel.
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lumper palmy gooey arise!
tare lipped cashew gypsa!
shrink feel fiber gypsa?
hubby farad valuer.
morgue fetid graft rococo!
budge grouch.
nopal morgue pink sin.
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potboy penes gird sell.
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cue gird lives cue.
shrink nibble gasper fetid!
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gypsa pupa.
fully luting large aerate!
1 Comment | Prose, Spamgasmic! | Permalink
Posted by spamcarnival
My lovely girlfriend always sends me the funniest ish. Behold:
from: Madere
to: Dana
date: Tue, Apr 14, 2009 at 10:53 AM
subject: Amazing Sex LifeWeapons, and seated on his car, desirous of plucking of the
flowerhoney they drank. And devayani of.How to Open the Dooor to an Amazing Sex Life Learn more
Of the work a machine ironer in illinois regularly crossed
the sombre room. He grasped her hands. However, filled with
rage, and looking like an his arrows, that host of thine
then fled away behind that illustrious hero to a certain
distance. Grow in the forest. I shall also see many excellent
but you dare not do this thing! I tell you, you in consequence
of the very large quantity of gold should serve their mothers
and fathers, their her breath with a sob and exclaim: my
lord! Ain’t that route a number of times. Its odor neutralized
so, sir?’ said lord colambre. ‘though my act,.
Leave a Comment » | Love and Sex, Prose, Spamgasmic! | Permalink
Posted by spamcarnival
Looks like the spammers are playing April Fool’s Day jokes!
from: Higgenbottom Caposole
to: spamcarnival
date: Wed, Apr 1, 2009 at 8:04 AM
subject: Your Account Was BannnedThis is a joke :)
Form. When at length it became evident that this the confines
of their territory, he marched thither for a king that is
not competent to grant protection? Repeated the silver star
within the golden band have believed it at first or he may
not have..
Gee, I wish my name were Higgenbottom Caposole.
2 Comments | Funny Sender Name, Holidays, Prose, Spamgasmic! | Tagged: April Fool's Day | Permalink
Posted by spamcarnival
Earlier this week, my friend Karalyn passed on this wonderfully hilarious spam email to me. I simply had to share!
from: Tarrance Stridiron
to: Karalyn
date: Mon, Mar 23, 2009 at 6:45 AM
subject: Warningg!
Click here
Who looks like an elephant with rent temples this again to
his own country, leaving mahomet free look upon all creatures
as their own selves escape your turn. What’s the good of
staring at me like the tearstained face, o king, which thou
bearest.
As evidenced through his html grid art and his prose, it appears Tarrance Stridiron is an artist through and through. Tarrance, we salute you! Keep it comin’.
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Posted by spamcarnival
I sure am having a good time on Twitter. These past 24 hours have been a fantastic way to spread the word about Spam Carnival and meet other spam enthusiasts.
Twitter user StanAngeloff was good enough to forward me this extremely amazing spam that’s very popular right now. People are tweeting about it like mad, and I was able to google it and find this example:
Date: Thu, 26 Mar 2009 14:57:26 +0000
From: Moscariello Rhoden
Subject: Nothing ccan seduce women faster than a…This is your penis: 8–o
This is your penis on drugs: 8=====O
Anny questions? [link removed]- From time to time those beautiful, tender eyes useful task which you will be pleased to indicate, great enemy of their most cherished institution. Me is not afraid of rough hands! we have no beautiful an anthill. Similarly, blooddrinking arrows shot.
This is way too good. Keep it up folks — send me the funny!
2 Comments | Love and Sex, Prose, Spamgasmic!, sexual enhancement | Permalink
Posted by spamcarnival
I love seeing patterns in my spam emails. I had never seen this one before, but two of my friends passed on strikingly similar ones to me recently. Short, sweet, and bizarre. Like me!
from: Maryann Bridges
to: Mike
date: Mon, Feb 2, 2009 at 8:06 AM
subject: Hey! This is Shelby. Couldn’t reach you.crudest lanterns game’s responses
prediction propose Jabez gained
So, is this person’s name Maryann, or is it Shelby? I’m confused.
This one was passed on to me from Ray at sixtenths blog.
from: Carolyn Nielsen
to: Ray
date: Wed, Mar 4, 2009 at 5:15 PM
subject: Denise Richards’s breast implants fitting hidden pics!just moonshine hair household
cocked it–that happens dooties
Wow.
For more Denise Richards-related laughter, please check out this picture I found of her with her children and Princess Jazmin:
2 Comments | Celebrities, Love and Sex, Prose, Spamgasmic! | Permalink
Posted by spamcarnival
This one’s from the archives. I really dig the lesbian feminist separatist slam poem at the end:
from: Jehoshaphat Theis
to: spamcarnival
date: Fri, Sep 29, 2006 at 1:56 AM
subject: new PHAkbfRMAGood day,
VIeAGRA
VAeLIUM
AMeBIEN
CIeALIS
Economize 50you.
about them? There are only men here?
enough. One alien artifact coming up. Over and out.
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Posted by spamcarnival
If you haven’t already noticed, spammers send the same emails over and over again. If they aren’t the same word for word, they’re very similar. Here are five of the same kind of email, all with really funny spammer names, misspellings, and delicious prose. The first four were passed on to me by my girlfriend:
from: Whybrew Penn
to: Dana
date: Fri, Feb 27, 2009 at 6:32 PM
subject: More oorgasmsNew OOrgasm Enhancer
Click HERE
He hoped would die naturally. One day it was arranged doa’t
smoke. You must wonder why i’ve come ? To we were, with
only two small skins of fresh water and cutting off the
long westerly detour via robatthe it with oyl, vinegar,
and pepper. This dish is.
from: Dowker Leib
to: Dana
date: Wed, Feb 25, 2009 at 11:46 PM
subject: More orgaasmsNNew Orgasm Enhancer
Click HEREPapers are out already with full details. Its murdered president
i felt then that the man i blood stream,,ing down. And she
got kameni, to that would be a pity for i cannot pretend
that that, she sat undisturbed for an hour. In the.
from: Proffer Uhlich
to: Dana
date: Tue, Mar 3, 2009 at 5:18 AM
subject: Morre orgasmsNew Orgasm Enhanncer
Click HERECome out the birds, who by a natural instinct war, said dr.
brown in a husky whisper. Then clearing and metaphysical
aid doth seem to have thee crown’d dish with rosewater,
set them over a charecoal with cocoanut matting and it was
only when it.
from: Sylvester Speece
to: Dana
date: Wed, Feb 25, 2009 at 1:53 PM
subject: Morre orgasmsNew Orrgasm Enhancer
Click HEREA man. Behold my father, the sultan harounerraschid, have
probably been the greatest sufferers in consequence the
toasts in a fair clean scowred dish, put the clearthinking
man beside him, brought back to leaving in grant’s mind
a determination that the.
This one’s from my very lovely friend over at the humans are dead.
from: Seidner Gallardo
to: thehumans are dead
date: Sun, Mar 1, 2009 at 5:24 AM
subject: Morre orgasmsNew Orgasmm Enhancer
Click HEREMacleod in her daily walks and ways. There was vastness,
wrought in him that fervour of spirit, of pandu capable
of using both his hands with the wrists of the poor creature
were fastened those that will fight against the pandavas.
that.
Which one’s your favorite?
Leave a Comment » | Funny Sender Name, Love and Sex, Prose, Spamgasmic!, sexual enhancement | Permalink
Posted by spamcarnival
Apparently, something is very funny! What could it be?
from: Rockett Garces
to: spamcarnival
date: Wed, Oct 8, 2008 at 1:19 PM
subject: muhahahaahahahhahahahahaa
T T R IT!!! C )))) N O !!! Z H k HAHA x HEY RY : L OOOOL MUHA AHA ! Try it too
Been followed by the person who had made that consumedor
rather wastedand we had thousands of was it. How can i.
tut, dont i know. She added was a pause, as if no one cared
to return to the of the market. She felt tempted to open
the window.
What exactly is this person asking me to try? Is Rockett Garces laughing at me because s/he intentionally left out a product and instead included strange prose?
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Posted by spamcarnival
We’re just gonna jump right into this one:
from: Pychardo Griffard
to: spamcarnival
date: Wed, Dec 25, 2008 at 2:08 AM
subject: Chrisstmas pleasureNew Christtmas pleasure :)
More information HERE
For, o daughter, thou art safe from him on account more’n
one. Oh, that’s all right, said the mackinaw wailed fiercely.
i feel an utterly at breakfast they know not how who does?,
in the universe, world, who is possessed of all the qualities
of.
Now, I don’t know about you, but my family is no fun during the holidays. The best present I could possibly receive is one where there isn’t any awkward arguing at the dinner table. Knowing I would be in for another Christmas filled with heartburn and anguish, I was really interested in receiving “Chrisstmas pleasure” to start the day off right for once. That’s why I clicked “HERE.” I was sent to a page with this image:
I wonder which one of them is Pychardo…? I bet he’s the one holding the trophy. The trophy for the largest Christmas erection.
Happy Christmas, y’all.
Leave a Comment » | Holidays, Love and Sex, Prose, Spamgasmic! | Tagged: christmas, sexual enhancement | Permalink
Posted by spamcarnival
Ooh, a present for mme?! I’m flattered!
from: Dibella Mandy
to: spamcarnival
date: Mon, Dec 22, 2008 at 11:06 AM
subject: Present for yyouCatch your Chrristmas present!
More information HEREPatience, and tact. The yezd c.m.s. Mission was and exchanging
salutations, until they came to the cronica de la muy noble
y leal ciudad de tlaxcàllan, two, all being likewise joined
by a single stout more. Her future is provided for. Why,
yes, but.
2 Comments | Holidays, Prose, Spamgasmic! | Tagged: christmas | Permalink
Posted by spamcarnival
Christmas night just got really exciting!
from: Odneal Benavidez
to: spamcarnival
date: Thu, Dec 18, 2008 at 9:53 PM
subject: Christmas nightGirls will drop underwwear for you!
More information HEREUnderstand, mike. I’m the person who’s bought back upon the
king, his broad shoulders proclaiming peeh! Said mr. Craig
it’s not to be named by side scrooge was not a man to be
frightened by echoes. Two professors, their tempers aggravated
no doubt.
1) It’s unclear whether girls will drop random bits of underwear for me or if they’ll be dropping their own;
2) How does one proclaim “peeh!” with one’s shoulders? I really want to know!!
Leave a Comment » | Holidays, Love and Sex, Prose, Spamgasmic! | Tagged: christmas, the promise of a new sex partner | Permalink
Posted by spamcarnival
Another Christmas post… this time, please eat our Christmas. It’s gonna be tasty.
from: Mavis Rosener
to: spamcarnival
date: Tue, Dec 16, 2008 at 7:07 AM
subject: pogrom taeniacide*
C I oA L I S Click here
Kaw, and coth the son of kaw, and meilic the son a drama,
this, in which he, hercule poirot, had suppose we must go
reconnoitering around the country been in the habit of doin’,
and eat our christmas to say, let’s get ruth to see to it.
she’s marvellous. Notes, which the banks had to receive
from their hundred yards further down, at a point where
the cut both ways. Supposing helen was in love with.
*A BRIEF REVIEW OF THE SUBJECT LINE
po·grom: an organized massacre of helpless people ; specifically : such a massacre of Jews.
tae·nia·cide: a substance that kills tapeworms.
pogrom+taeniacide: an organized massacre of helpless tapeworms?
4 Comments | Funny Subject Line, Holidays, Prose, Spamgasmic! | Tagged: christmas | Permalink
Posted by spamcarnival
A little prosey, a little raunchy… I’m not really sure what Santa CClaus has in mind!
from: Bordelon Gillett
to: spamcarnival
date: Fri, Dec 5, 2008 at 10:12 AM
subject: Santa CClaus and Christmas night!WOW! Santa Claus try our meds andd fuck housewife and her daughter!
Only today: CLICK HERE
The bridge. I can’t say a word, mate, till i’ve for animals.
delicious grapes were to be obtained in thoughteating, that
is. Daves probes are like to be doubted, declared in his
thirtythird sermon, as cold as ice, and a memory in her
heart of another.
Leave a Comment » | Holidays, Love and Sex, Prose, Spamgasmic! | Tagged: christmas | Permalink
Posted by spamcarnival
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