Category Archives: Prose

Cathedral

I kinda love spam emails like this. Spammers with double identities… bizarre philosophical quotes… what? from: anne.karin.oksnes@tine.no date: Sat, Mar 19, 2011 at 4:19 PM subject: Cathedral to: spamcarnival That it was not for him to begin anything anew but … Continue reading

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Filed under Prose, spam in general

Hey Candice

It’s rare that I receive such a personal touch from spammers. Thankfully, Thornton understands how much I love spam. It feel so good to be noticed! Plus, Thornton is so excited to speak to me again (even though I don’t … Continue reading

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Filed under Prose, spam in general

amusing apparatus Lily

I think  “amusing apparatus Lily” sounds like a poorly-named burlesque performer. from:    Ajay Curtis to: spamcarnival date:    Tue, Oct 26, 2010 at 9:55 PM subject:    amusing apparatus Lily disintegration in cheekbone’s my benefactor do consists your Crookes … Continue reading

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Filed under Lame Product for Sale, Prose, spam in general

Madonna goes down on a guy in a night club!

Come on. Aren’t Madonna/sex jokes so 1993? Well, I suppose it’s more of the combination of the subject and the body* that make me laugh. from: Patrick Fuentes to: spamcarnival date: April 11, 2009 5:15:35 AM EDT subject: Madonna goes … Continue reading

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Filed under Celebrities, Love and Sex, Prose, spam in general

Exclusive Proopsal

Okay, this post is pretty long. I would apologize for the loads of text displayed below, but there is no way I could pass up the utter nonsense contained in this spam email. Try to think of it as the … Continue reading

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Filed under Best of the best, Epic, Lame Product for Sale, Prose, spam in general

How To Get A Girl To Do Anything And Everyything In Bed

Is this how you get a girl to do anything in bed? Because this is pretty lame. from: Brunjes to: spamcarnival date: Thu, Apr 9, 2009 at 3:45 AM subject: How To Get A Girl To Do Anything And Everyything … Continue reading

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Filed under Love and Sex, Prose, spam in general

I was aware of being somewhere warm and soft

I love the flow of the subject line & body of this spam email.  It sounds like “dukes” is a pretty tormented soul. from: dukes to: spamcarnival subject: I was aware of being somewhere warm and soft date: Fri, Nov … Continue reading

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Filed under Best of the best, Funny Subject Line, Prose, spam in general

trivet

Well, if it isn’t Mr. Titsworth! Droppin’ weird spelling, sex talk, and creepy prose! I absolutely LOVE this one. from: Arter Titsworth to: spamcarnival date: Wed, Apr 2, 2008 at 12:16 PM subject: trivet Heya, Real men! Millionss of people … Continue reading

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Filed under Best of the best, Funny Sender Name, Love and Sex, Prose, spam in general

in effect option normal skin disease treatment or

Read this one out loud to yourself, like a slam poet. Or should I say… spam poet? from: deavareaux to: spamcarnival date: Fri, Dec 19, 2008 at 2:46 AM subject: in effect option normal skin disease treatment or in effect … Continue reading

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Filed under Prose, Short Story, spam in general

AND. Sitting down at the ag

Ahh! It’s been a while since I’ve seen some good ole fashion spam prose.  I’m excited that this spammer gave me a new name (yes, I am Italian, but that is quite an Italian name!).  As a bonus, they’ve attached … Continue reading

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Filed under I've Been Renamed, Prose, spam in general

possess her delinquent flesh…. Sweet dreams, Panto-

I love spam emails like this. Short and sweet. And creepy. from: joseph.fallon to: spamcarnival date: Sun, Sep 27, 2009 at 1:18 PM subject: possess her delinquent flesh…. Sweet dreams, Panto- New   Orleans  is   a  dead   museum.  We   walk  around … Continue reading

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Filed under Funny Subject Line, Prose, spam in general

They dances to the Flute of the Blue Baboon

The title of this email conjures of images of Rafiki from the Lion King. from: enogatto to: spamcarnival date: Mon, May 18, 2009 at 6:05 AM subject: They danced to the Flute of the Blue Baboon On the broad green … Continue reading

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Filed under Funny Subject Line, Prose, spam in general

can it be

This one’s from the Spam Carnival vault.  This Marsha person is trying to sell me pills and prose.  But I wonder: how many pills did Marsha take to write the prose? from: Marsha to: spamcarnival sent: Thursday, September 21, 2006 … Continue reading

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Filed under Prose

Printer Your golden days with Viagra Professional! Mist Slave

Hey! Um, what is going on here?  I’m not sure I get it. from: Ayodele Adolphus date: Tue, Dec 2, 2008 at 6:03 AM to: spamcarnival subject: Printer Your golden days with Viagra Professional! Mist Slave Ice-cream Liquid Swimming Pool … Continue reading

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Filed under Prose, spam in general

New online CAASINO bonus (get 1800 bucks insttantly)

Okay, so I guess Peacemaker Barbee is into gambling AND bizarre prose about religion…? from: Peacemaker Barbee to: spamcarnival date: Sun, Sep 14, 2008 at 8:44 AM subject: New online CAASINO bonus (get 1800 bucks insttantly) NEW CAS     b … Continue reading

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Filed under Funny Sender Name, Money and Finances, Prose, spam in general