March 10, 2010
Man, spammers really like to fetishize and exploit Russian women. At least this shit is funny.
from: Uliya
to: spamcarnival
date: Mon, Feb 1, 2010 at 7:57 AM
subject: Sweet Lord, let him come unto me, my name is Maria, I am from Russia!
You were outside my house – why do not you come to me?
“I love you so waiting – when you called me – it was the best moment of my life,
I changed the phone number – you can watch it on my page – look.
Wait, does this email imply that she wants me to watch a video of her changing her phone number? That is so not sexy.
Leave a Comment » | 
Love and Sex, Spamgasmic!, love letter | 
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Posted by spamcarnival
March 8, 2010
Recently, I received a suspicious letter from a woman who claimed to be a former lover of mine. I don’t remember her. Was I wasted?
from: Elena
to: spamcarnival
date: Mon, Feb 1, 2010 at 10:19 PM
subject: Like them adult games? You are not enough? Me too – let’s play!
Hi – do you remember how we made love in your car?
Mmm like it was perfect – the stars, moon, sky – and the lights of the city, here in Russia that does not happen again,
I want you to come if you do not mind, write me!
Elena, if you’re reading this, I think you’re crazy. I don’t even have a car.
Leave a Comment » | Love and Sex, Spamgasmic!, love letter, the promise of a new sex partner | Permalink
Posted by spamcarnival
January 26, 2010
It’s a Christmas miracle!!
from: Chiamaka Alice
to: spamcarnival
date: Mon, Dec 28, 2009 at 12:46 PM
subject: Economy in crysis and you?
Erectile dysfunction will never spoil your life again if you make use of this sales event!
It is a scientifically proven fact that on Christmas many people get rid of impotence with magic!
[link removed]
Of course, the removed link goes to a Canadian pharmaceutical website. Here are some funny pictures from the site:
Leave a Comment » | Holidays, Love and Sex, Spamgasmic!, sexual enhancement | Permalink
Posted by spamcarnival
January 20, 2010
My darling friend Leila passed on this really awesome spam. I love the prose:
from: BRATBY Michelle
to: Leila
sent: Wed, January 13, 2010 12:07:03 PM
subject: adult ads
women seeking sex
[link removed]
They installed themselves in the island, and constructed a smaller boat
never again see the extraordinary animal. I was mistaken.
on the face of the globe which has escaped my researches.”
Wasn’t that beautiful?
FYI, this is what the link leads to:
Leave a Comment » | Love and Sex, Prose, Spamgasmic! | Permalink
Posted by spamcarnival
December 14, 2009
We're coming back in 2010!
Loyal Spam Carnival Fan: Where have you been?
Spam Carnival Blogger Candice: Sometimes, your job gets super hectic, and then you start taking classes at a nearby graduate school, and then you volunteer your time 15 hours a week for free… and then, before you know it, you don’t have the time to update your blog.
But don’t worry, because I dropped out of school and stopped volunteering my time towards a good cause, so now I can dedicate my life to what really matters: spam emails. And I’m gonna do it all on my office’s dime.
Thanks for sticking around all this time. In the meanwhile, why don’t you go on ahead forward us your favorite spam emails? spamcarnival@gmail.com.
Here’s a bonus spam email to tide you over, courtesy of my girlfriend Dana:
from: Nanny Justice
date: Tue, Aug 25, 2009 at 9:46 AM
subject: Huge love maker has become unbelievably real!
to: Dana
Madness of low prices http://iceo.suffixevery.com/
Nanny Justice! I’m so glad she finally contacted us with this fantastic deal. Nanny Injustice usually tries to make my love maker unbelievably small, so thank the heavens for Nanny Justice- my favorite nanny!
Leave a Comment » | Funny Sender Name, Love and Sex, Spamgasmic!, sexual enhancement | Permalink
Posted by spamcarnival
August 5, 2009
“Pilules” make everything awesome.
from: 4u2
to: spamcarnival
date: Tue, Jun 30, 2009 at 9:10 PM
subject: Get woody of girls again!
Need a lion ardor and energy of a bull? Get it all, compressed in one pilule!~
http://rosstech.ca/1.html
fppphfadk
oofujwjo
Leave a Comment » | Love and Sex, Spamgasmic!, sexual enhancement | Permalink
Posted by spamcarnival
August 4, 2009
Dude, what is with the nasty attitude??? Chill out.
from: nagylaszlo
to: spamcarnival
date: Sat, Jun 6, 2009 at 5:18 AM
subject: If night are not hot enough, this pilule will light the fire again!
Suck it.
Leave a Comment » | Love and Sex, Spamgasmic!, sexual enhancement | Permalink
Posted by spamcarnival
June 26, 2009
Wow, this guy is really confident!
from: Marion Whitaker
to: spamcarnival
date: Sun, Mar 23, 2008 at 3:03 PM
subject: Lets bet that my penis is bigger than yours
Good morning.
Man, you must know it! I had an intimate trouble.
My banana was too small that I feel shy when I did it with my woman.
I was afraid that she would tell me about it and left me once it had happened.
I didn’t know what to do. I was depressed and always thought how I can change my life.
Once I received a letter with advertisement and decided to try it.
The result was unexpected. My main trouble was solved and now I am happy happy
happy happy Bro don’t waste time.
http://www.crippelarge.com
With best regards
Marion Whitaker
Leave a Comment » | Funny Subject Line, Love and Sex, Spamgasmic!, insulting, sexual enhancement | Permalink
Posted by spamcarnival
June 16, 2009
Your family will not stay together if you don’t take Viagra. That’s just how it is.
from: Lucille Milton
to: spamcarnival
date: Sat, Feb 21, 2009 at 7:00 AM
subject: Want to keep your family from breaking up? Take some bluepilules.
Leave a Comment » | Love and Sex, Spamgasmic!, sexual enhancement | Permalink
Posted by spamcarnival
June 12, 2009
Why do you keep asking me questions without putting question marks at the end of your sentences. And what does maggle mean.
from: Lila Sexton
to: spamcarnival
date: Sun, May 3, 2009 at 11:09 AM
subject: Does our wife play maggle away from home.
Why do women do these shameful things.
Do college women really get this wild.
=== > http://jackquelinesexy5884. blogspot .com < ===
Leave a Comment » | Funny Subject Line, Love and Sex, Spamgasmic!, porn | Permalink
Posted by spamcarnival
June 9, 2009
Insta-date! Sweet!
from: claudia gaston
to: spamcarnival
date: Mon, May 25, 2009 at 8:42 PM
subject: Feel limulid like getting to know me?
I the beautiful young girl. To me of 26 years. I the sociable, fair
and romantic woman. I do not like when to me tell lies. I love
classical music and opera. At leisure I like to read books, detectives
and love novels. I want to find serious relations and to create happy
family.
I would love to know more about you and see where it could take us!
Take a chance and write me!
You know, this is eerily similar to a love letter I posted a couple of weeks back.
Leave a Comment » | Love and Sex, Spamgasmic!, love letter | Permalink
Posted by spamcarnival
June 8, 2009
Everything about this spam email rules. The sender name, subject line, and the attached photo.
from: resisting
to: spamcarnival
date: Sun, May 24, 2009 at 9:45 PM
subject: Disney givnig brides-to-be a chance to dress like princesses
Leave a Comment » | Funny Sender Name, Funny Subject Line, Love and Sex, Spamgasmic! | Permalink
Posted by spamcarnival
June 4, 2009
Sometimes I get spam emails that are too similar to separate on their own. In fact, they are actually funnier to read as a set. Behold:
from: peter
to: spamcarnival
date: Sat, May 9, 2009 at 9:20 AM
subject: Can you explain this?
Take this, my Don Juan, so your body won’t let you down at hot rendezvous.
wulczitr uffvdep vsdjac
eyucintza u rsqlvyy
from: Leland Corseri
to: spamcarnival
date: Sat, May 2, 2009 at 1:06 PM
subject: Re: Huge 72% discount
After the night with you on that blue vitamin she will become excited of even thinking about you
from: Sarai Kagy
to: spamcarnival
date: Sat, May 2, 2009 at 2:47 PM
subject: Re: Huge 89% discount
Antivirals are our specialty, but other categories have a wide selection of competitively-priced goods too
Read the rest of this entry »
Leave a Comment » | Love and Sex, Spamgasmic!, sexual enhancement | Permalink
Posted by spamcarnival
June 1, 2009
Ooh, bear porn! Just in time for LGBT Pride month!
from: PunkJock
to: spamcarnival
date: Mon, May 4, 2009 at 10:34 PM
subject: Studs N’ Buds @ BearTrapping.com’
This is PunkJock, one of over 250,000 members on BearTrapping.com
When you’re ready to meet the most guys online, come by BearTrapping.com. Our members agree that it’s the best site of it’s kind online, because we offer content and features you won’t find at ANY other site.
Featurs like:
- Over 250,000 profiles
- Lube Tube Video Lounge
- The Buddy System
- CJ Video Chat
- Private Video Chat Rooms
- G-Blogs Video Blogs, V-Mail Video Email and much, much more.
Whatever type of guy you’re looking for, whatever you’re into, you’ll find him here. BearTrapping.com
Leave a Comment » | Love and Sex, Spamgasmic!, porn, the promise of a new sex partner | Permalink
Posted by spamcarnival
May 29, 2009
I received nine of the same email all in one day. I love spam trends!
Subject: For spamcarnival@gmail.com
- Fantastic making out ability for men who deserve it!
- Keep your manhood in good shape for you and for her as well!
- Give woman the first thing she expects from you – the unforgetable pleasure.
- Land every chick you like easily!
- You don’t need years to improve your lovemaking! Do it now!
- Make your intruder the best for her.
- Seduce your wife like never before.
- Sad because of bad analysis? We will help you to improve.
- Dreaming of more action in bedroom?
Leave a Comment » | Love and Sex, Spamgasmic!, sexual enhancement | Permalink
Posted by spamcarnival
