My friend Mark works for Snooth.com, “The world’s largest and fastest growing community of wine lovers.” Occasionally, Mark gets some great spam. This one takes the cake.
THE best Nigerian spam email I’ve ever seen. Behold!:
from: Eric
to: Mark
date: June 10, 2009 10:47:25 PM EDT
subject: Re: Welcome to Snooth!
HELLO ……………………WORLDS BIGGEST FOOL
I KNOW UR SECRETS —- UR A MUGU OF THE HIGHEST ORDER
UR FATHER WAS A GBOMOGBOMO WHO DO RITUALS AT OKIJA SHRINE FOR MONEY.
BUT HE GOT NO AMU AFTER GETTIN IT CHEEWED OF BY A GAYMAN IN DA CAFE.
NA SO?
UR MAMA WAS PROPPER ASHAWO AT DEY SHORT TIME JOINTS IN FEGE-ONITSHA.
DOG NA HORSE DEY FUCKIN UR MOMMA BUT UR FUCKIN MOMMA TOTO DEY TOO WIDE
& DEEP. UR MAMA HAVE GONORIHA. HER TOTO STINK LIKE ROTED PIG ON ROAD.
IT BE SMELLING UP NAIJA. NO BI?
UR A IIDIOT MUMU N LOVE TO SUCK THE AMUS OF DEAD GOATS N LITTLE BOYS
IN SMALL VILLAGES IN BENIN. U R A LADYBOY WIT DEY HIV. IIDIOT LIKE U
CANOT MAKE ONE NAIRA FROM THIS BUSINESS. MUGU LIKE U. U WILL DIE A
CHURCH RAT N TRUCK PUSHER
GOD WILL PURNISH YOUR WHOLE GENERATION U OSU. A MAD MAN WILL PREGNANT
UR JUNIOR SISTER AND THE BABY WILL BE A MAD BASTARD LIKE U
U IDIOT! U HE GOAT! U WEAKLING !
–
YOUR FRIEND ERIC OKAFOR
July 7, 2009 at 10:00 am |
WIN.
July 7, 2009 at 10:06 am |
Haha! I know, right!
Also, I’m going to add your blog to my rollll
July 7, 2009 at 10:16 am |
Apparently, in scammer lore (which I discovered by Googling it and clicking the first link) a “Mugu” is a “big fool”.
I can’t help with “Gbomogbomo”, but I think it’s a not-for-profit organization having to do with Agriculture? This is a high Nigerian insult, to call someone’s father an NPO.
July 7, 2009 at 1:02 pm |
I’m a gbomogbomosexual
July 8, 2009 at 1:08 pm |
[...] KING OF POP STAR(DONATION) I am SO excited. Yesterday, I posted an amazingly fantastic Nigerian spam email that my friend Mark passed on to [...]
July 9, 2009 at 9:40 am |
Oh my damn, that was FABULOUS!!! Where can I sign up for one of those emails?
My fave part? “Signed, your friend, Eric”
hehehe
July 9, 2009 at 4:35 pm |
This one really made me laugh super hard. It’s just over the top.