Earlier this year, my fellow spam enthusiast friend Mike forwarded me this absolutely fantastic spam email:
from: Thad Shook
to: Mike
date: Wed, Apr 30, 2008 at 10:35 AM subject: Hi
hows life
I think it’s so nice of Thad to check in just to create honest-to-goodness dialogue! Finally, a spammer that gets it: emailing people you don’t know and telling them to buy your stuff isn’t actually very nice.
As we approach a new year, don’t make things more complicated. Keep it simple. Be kind. Reach out. Say hi to people you may not know. Think of Thad. Read the rest of this entry »
from: Pychardo Griffard to: spamcarnival date: Wed, Dec 25, 2008 at 2:08 AM subject: Chrisstmas pleasure
New Christtmas pleasure :)
More information HERE
For, o daughter, thou art safe from him on account more’n
one. Oh, that’s all right, said the mackinaw wailed fiercely.
i feel an utterly at breakfast they know not how who does?,
in the universe, world, who is possessed of all the qualities
of.
Now, I don’t know about you, but my family is no fun during the holidays. The best present I could possibly receive is one where there isn’t any awkward arguing at the dinner table. Knowing I would be in for another Christmas filled with heartburn and anguish, I was really interested in receiving “Chrisstmas pleasure” to start the day off right for once. That’s why I clicked “HERE.” I was sent to a page with this image:
I wonder which one of them is Pychardo…? I bet he’s the one holding the trophy. The trophy for the largest Christmas erection.
from: Dibella Mandy to: spamcarnival date: Mon, Dec 22, 2008 at 11:06 AM subject: Present for yyou
Catch your Chrristmas present!
More information HERE
Patience, and tact. The yezd c.m.s. Mission was and exchanging
salutations, until they came to the cronica de la muy noble
y leal ciudad de tlaxcàllan, two, all being likewise joined
by a single stout more. Her future is provided for. Why,
yes, but.
from: Odneal Benavidez to: spamcarnival date: Thu, Dec 18, 2008 at 9:53 PM subject: Christmas night
Girls will drop underwwear for you!
More information HERE
Understand, mike. I’m the person who’s bought back upon the
king, his broad shoulders proclaiming peeh! Said mr. Craig
it’s not to be named by side scrooge was not a man to be
frightened by echoes. Two professors, their tempers aggravated
no doubt.
1) It’s unclear whether girls will drop random bits of underwear for me or if they’ll be dropping their own;
2) How does one proclaim “peeh!” with one’s shoulders? I really want to know!!
from: TOY OF THE YEAR to: spamcarnival sent: Monday, December 15, 2008 3:18:08 AM subject: Have a Joyful Christmas Eve with The Flying Monkeys!
Get the HOTTEST Stocking stuffer of the year and you’re GUARANTEED to be a hit! NOT IN STORES!
Click Here to get the hottest gift of the year!Meet the amazing FLYING MONKEY, they simply steal the show! Take it to family reunions, office parties, board meetings, school, church or on the road and SCORE BIG!Kids will be putting their expensive toys aside just to play with the Amazing Flying Monkey, you’ll see. The fun is contagious! You can’t put them down. EVERYONE wants to fly them! Not available in stores!
Get it nowClick Here (seeofferfor details)
Call me crazy, but I have a hard time believing that this toy would add joy to my Christmas Eve. I really don’t recommend getting this toy for your children. It looks absolutely craptastic. I swear on all things holy, if you brought this freaking thing to my board meeting or road trip I would totally kick your ass. (Although, if you brought it to church, it would be kind of interesting. Please videotape and share if you do this!)
Look folks, if you let this thing into your home, this is what will happen to you:
Another Christmas post… this time, please eat our Christmas. It’s gonna be tasty.
from: Mavis Rosener to: spamcarnival date: Tue, Dec 16, 2008 at 7:07 AM subject: pogrom taeniacide*
Hello,
C
I
oA
L
I
S
Click here
Kaw, and coth the son of kaw, and meilic the son a drama,
this, in which he, hercule poirot, had suppose we must go
reconnoitering around the country been in the habit of doin’,
and eat our christmas to say, let’s get ruth to see to it.
she’s marvellous. Notes, which the banks had to receive
from their hundred yards further down, at a point where
the cut both ways. Supposing helen was in love with.
*A BRIEF REVIEW OF THE SUBJECT LINE
po·grom: an organized massacre of helpless people ; specifically : such a massacre of Jews. tae·nia·cide: a substance that kills tapeworms.
pogrom+taeniacide: an organized massacre of helpless tapeworms?
A post in today’s version of celebrity gossip blog dlisted.com has included a fantastic spam about actress Scarlett Johansson. An excerpt of the spam email:
“I would like inform you that Scarlett Johansson (actress) actually is a clone from original person Scarlett Galabekian last name, who has nothing with acting career. That clone was created illegally by using stolen biological material.”
WARNING! WARNING! This blog about spam is currently being interrupted by real life, non-spam absurdity!
Before yesterday, I thought there was only one thing nearly as funny as oddly-worded spam emails: lame vanity plates (my original blog idea! – link is safe for clicking).
To my pleasant surprise, I found that I was indeed wrong, for something so supremely rib-tickling has occurred:
A little prosey, a little raunchy… I’m not really sure what Santa CClaus has in mind!
from: Bordelon Gillett to: spamcarnival date: Fri, Dec 5, 2008 at 10:12 AM subject: Santa CClaus and Christmas night!
WOW! Santa Claus try our meds andd fuck housewife and her daughter! Only today: CLICK HERE
The bridge. I can’t say a word, mate, till i’ve for animals.
delicious grapes were to be obtained in thoughteating, that
is. Daves probes are like to be doubted, declared in his
thirtythird sermon, as cold as ice, and a memory in her
heart of another.
from: Timonere Waiki to: spamcarnival date: Tue, Dec 9, 2008 at 7:23 AM subject: We wish you a merry Christtmas!
Help yyourself on Christmas!
More information: CLICK HERE
Dream is called the dream of maxen wledig, emperor of the
chances of becoming illustrious. I am his something, although
what he was to do she could live in. As fast as your foot
carries you, you day out. But actually agnes came back to
the house..
Today, Health stopped by, gave me a new name, and taught me about Viagra!
from: Health to: Sexual Activity date: Tues, Dec 2, 2008 at 10:59 AM subject: Give your partner the pleasure of a rock hard organ every night
How Viagra works?
The penis gets erect during sexual stimulation when increased blood flows
to the penis resulting from relaxation of penile arteries and corpus cavernosal smooth muscle.
This is due to the release of nitric oxide (NO) from nerve terminals and endothelial cells
which in turn leads to the synthesis of cGMP in smooth muscle cells.
Posted by spamcarnival 
